"Normal" ... Huh??
I joined a mom meet-up group a little while ago and we had an event today where a lady who didn’t have kids was talking to us. After the event, the other moms went downstairs with their kids and since mine was at day care, the lady walked downstairs with me and quizzed me up on the whole concept of having kids. She had asked a few initial questions of a few of us and apparently my answers struck her as being the most similar to where she was in her head. She asked a number of questions from “Isn’t it scary?” to “Is it really THAT cool?” But the question that struck me the most, the one that made me just blankly stare at her with ARE YOU MAD??? all over my face was, “When do things go back to normal?”
Uhhh… They don’t? A child? What the HELL is normal??
Of course I stopped with the first statement. And really, I don’t think they do ever go back to “normal.” And I’m not saying that as a bad thing. I think you create a new normal. A new way of life that works for the chaos that has become life with a child. But then again, I’ve never had a normal life – so what the hell do I know??
And on a barely related at all note…
So many people talk about not knowing what they ever did before they had kids. They say it in a sense that they just don’t have time for anything else now and things they did in the past just took a back seat to spending time with the kids. At least, that’s how I’ve always understood it when I’ve heard people say that. But I was thinking about it the other day and I truly do not have any idea what I used to do with my time before the baby. I don’t know if my mind is trying to block it out so I don’t feel so bad but I think about it and my brain just shuts down. There’s nothing there. Sure, I had TV shows then too but I KNOW I didn’t watch that much TV. And even if I did, I have always done something else while it was on. But what? I cannot remember. It might have something to do with my life being in boxes downstairs and maybe the things I did are down there and have been packed up for so long I don’t remember. Or maybe I just spent so much time cleaning and organizing that now that everything is organized and all has to stay clean, I’m left with nothing. But I know there was more. What am I missing? (Besides my mind.)
I’m to the point now where I actually, occasionally, get a few minutes to do something that is mine – while she plays with her toys on the floor or takes a real nap (hey – it happens… sometimes). But I don’t know what that is now. The hobbies I know I had before moving out here just don’t hold the same interest to me now. What filled the gap between moving and baby? Am I really that boring? I’ve been on the hunt for productive things to do to occupy my time and I’m coming up short. I need a life.