Lost in Place

Posted by Kim at 10:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I just finished reading this article. Just from one article, maybe you don't have the reaction I did. But this is certainly not the first article of this nature I have read recently. And I know it won't be the last.

The attitudes of people not traveling with families kill me. They all come from a family. They've all, at one time or another, had to deal with small children (yes, even those who don't have kids of their own). Why create such a hostile environment out there between family and non-family travelers? If one could ditch the attitude of "Oh God, please don't let the people with the baby sit next to me," and instead, be a little more open and pleasant, chances are, the entire flight will be a little more pleasant. Whether the child acts up or not.

I don't know why I have such a strong reaction to this. Madeleine has never been the "terror child" on a flight. In fact, every flight she's been on (and in only one year, it has been quite a few - probably more than I had been on in the first 25 years of my life), we've had numerous people comment on how amazingly well-behaved she was. So it's not like I'm being defensive or feeling guilty - I've never been the annoying, obnoxious family. Yet. But I guarantee you - the next time I am on a flight and if she does decide to have a fit - I won't be freaking out because she's freaking out. I'll be freaking out because all you family-haters make me feel guilty as hell that I am just as entitled to travel as you.

I really don't know why I am so impassioned about this but I get so frustrated and angry by the negative attitude of families and flights. Yes, I have been one of those people who have thought, "Please, please, please make that baby stop crying," or "If that damn kid does not stop kicking my seat..." But I have never felt more entitled to - or deserving of - a flight, space, quiet, etc. Families have to travel to and even before having my own child, I knew that sometimes it's not always possible to keep a child/toddler/infant quiet/happy/entertained for long periods of time. Hell, I go nuts on long flights. People just have no patience anymore. They have no interest in how to make things easier for everyone instead of just themselves. Grrrrr.

All this over one silly article. I know. But it seems every other week or so there's another one of the same nature. People just need to chill. And now I am going to take my own advice and try to do the same thing....

*It's not the idea of Southwest boarding families last. That's fine. It's the attitude of some of the people quoted in the article. Just to clarify.

Posted by Kim at 9:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

When I get really tired, I get really loopy. When I have a migraine on top of that, I just get plain dumb.

Let's go through my yesterday so I can illustrate it for you...

It started with making a piece of toast for Madeleine's lunch. I buttered the bread and out of habit, put the knife straight in the sink. Then I realized I had to cut the toast. So I washed the knife and put it... straight... in the... dishwasher. You think that's bad? You should have seen me searching every where for the knife I had just barely washed.

Not two minutes later I was cleaning up the rubber spatula, wooden spoon mess she had made and instead of trying to put them in the cupboard where they belonged... I tried putting them in the fridge. !!??

A bit later, I got in the shower and shampooed my hair, not once, but twice! Yes, I just love wasting shampoo.

While we waited for Dan to shower, I read Madeleine her Zoophabet ABC book. I've read this book 8 million times and have it completely committed to memory. And yet, not two pages into it, instead of Alligators eating Apples, it was the other way around. It was just down hill from there. This was not the only set to be confidently flip-flopped. (I seem to recall something about Nectarines being fond of Nightingales.)

And this was all before lunch! It feels like a piece of my brain just goes missing when exhausted and migraine combine. While I am sure it gives my family a big laugh, it drives me right up the wall.

Had any good "duh" moments lately? Or did I use up everyone else's, all by myself, in one day?

Posted by Kim at 10:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A friend of mine and I are hosting a swap over at our other site. If you feel like being crafty and/or creative, or just putting together some cute stuff, go check it out. It's Halloween-themed and should be loads of fun!

Posted by Kim at 11:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am not a gambler. I am not a risk taker. I hate surprises (unless they are really, really good ones – which how are you going to know that AND make it a surprise??). I like knowing, predictability, having an exact idea of what to expect. In other words, I’m really boring.

So when my husband leaves the company we’ve both been with for over ten years to go to a start-up, you can imagine my complete panic. What if? What about? But? Well? How? Oh god, talk me down people. Talk me down.

I am excited. I am terrified. Either way, I support him 100%. This is a big deal for him. It’s something he’s wanted for a really long time. It puts him in exactly the direction he wants to go and is an amazing step for his career. I know, you’re waiting for the “but.” But there isn’t one. This simply is a great move for him.

For me? Oh hell. There are so many things I worry about. So many scenarios playing out in my head of how this could be a bad, bad thing. But that’s me, the eternal pessimist. If it can go wrong, it so totally will. Of course, I don’t dwell on those. Which is something I would normally do. I’m seeing the good here, the potential, the fact that it really is a move in the right direction. But there is still that part of me, the part that hates change, the what if it goes horribly wrong part, the part that wonders what will happen and desperately hates not knowing. I’m trying to shove a sock in her mouth so she’ll just shut the hell up. Because really? This is exactly what he needs. And he deserves it. And will probably be even better for *us*. I just hope he likes it. And they like him. (Though I’ve come to learn that once you get to know him, it’s impossible to not. So not really sure what I’m worried about.)

*He actually caved and bought a suit for the interview. When paying for everything, the $95 dollar tie incorrectly rang as $19. The manager let it go so the salesperson dubbed it the “lucky tie.” He really wanted the job. Looks like it was pretty lucky after all.

Posted by Kim at 3:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We just finished up another swap over at the Color Me Happy swap group. This time was brown and blue and it was a little more difficult. I actually had to look for things to include this time around when things usually just jump off shelves at me. I also was a lot more distracted this time around so I didn't spend us much time and effort on this one as I have in the past which I felt completely guilty about the entire time. But my swap-buddy loved them anyway so at least it wasn't a failure.

What I sent:

What I received:

I love these swaps. I am continuing to do this one, hopefully for as long as they do them. I'm aslo going to be part of another group that is in the creation process. I will post more about it here when it's ready to launch. Feel free to join us for either one. They're fun, fun, fun! I'll have the details here soon about the other group since it's launching on the other site to which I contribute. (Sure, it hasn't gone any where yet and we have maybe 3 readers glancers, but someday.... And maybe the swap is just the thing to do it!)

Posted by Kim at 3:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Before I had a baby, I knew I would be the mom who paid attention – who was all too organized – who kept track of everything and wrote every single thing down – who would know without even having to think about it when the first smile was, when the first tooth came in, which tooth that was, when she took her first step, said her first word and you know, be the mom that will be able to tell her, when she's older, all the silly little details of when she was a baby. All that mom stuff that just about every other mom in the world out there can do.

Except me.

I truly did mean to keep on on-going journal for Madeleine. I started one. About six times. Needless to say, this site is just about all I have.

Someday.

Someday I will organize myself enough that I can start keeping track. So that I can go back and determine when what happened and figure out how to make sense of any of it. Sure, I have a few things on a few different calendars but her baby book is hit and miss, I haven’t scrapbooked a blasted thing. I haven’t even finished her bank. I have got to get a grip! Get rid of the disorganized lazies and pay attention. This is important stuff. Even if it’s only important to me.

So that’s my goal. Pay enough attention that I can document – whether it is just here for now, or in a book, or even a simple notebook – things that go on. Enough so that I can go back when I do have the time to chronologically make real sense of it and put it all together as the story of her life and have it actually include the big things as well as the small things.

What have you done with your kids? What would you like to do? And more importantly, how do you organize it all?

Posted by Kim at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Posted by Kim at 10:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Until I think of something worthwhile to say... (But more because it's been a really long time since I posted a picture. And yet, this picture isn't even recent .... I'm slacking, I know)

Posted by Kim at 3:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

When everyone would say "Oh you're in trouble" or "you'll be in trouble" about Li'l Miss M(onster) learning to walk, I thought, "Seriously!? How much worse could it be? She already gets in to EVERYTHING. She already is fast as can be. She already pulls up on everything. She's already sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. So - really - how much worse could it be?"

It's so much worse.

Wanna know why?

Because now not only is she mobile, so are THINGS. She has two hands that she can USE. To TRANSPORT things. When she was just crawling, she'd have to use her mouth. (??? I know, she's a nut) But now she can have one thing in each hand and a third in her mouth if she so chooses. Messes seem to follow her every where she goes.

But - wow has it cut down on time spent having to entertain the child. She walks everywhere and that seems to be enough for her. She explores all on her own and just wanders and wanders. Sometimes in the same small circle over and over. But it keeps her entertained and she knows very well it keeps us entertained as well. She's a show off so her having yet another way to do so is just fine with her. Us too. Even if it does mean everything in the house now has legs.

Posted by Kim at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We have tried, on occasion and with no luck, to let Li’l Miss M cry herself to sleep at night. She’s gone for over two hours without giving in, without calming down. On a whim, I tried again last night. Forty minutes later it got quiet. I went to the stairs to confirm and what I had expected to be a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of pride in my child, a big sigh of relief that finally maybe she would catch on wasn’t that at all. I was devastated. I sat down on the stairs and cried. I just let my baby fall asleep crying. What kind of mother does that? That’s no way to fall asleep. I felt horrible. But she did and I was proud of her. I really was. She’s never even come close before so that she finally gave in and calmed down enough to even lay down, let alone fall asleep is awesome. It doesn’t make me feel any better about it though. And now that I’ve started it, I can’t just stop. So the next few nights will be interesting.

The cool part. The best part. The part I do not feel even remotely bad about: So she fell asleep on her own – that’s pretty cool on its own. But. BUT! Holy moly! I had to wake her up this morning! When I woke up at 6:30, I panicked. Where was the crying baby? The house was silent and had been all night long. I spent the next hour and a half waiting for her to wake up screaming. But it never happened. I ended up having to go in and get her up so we could get going for the day. It’s unheard of! And awesome!

So, for the first time in 13 months, 2 weeks and 3 days not only did she put herself to sleep but she finally FINALLY slept through the night. I don’t care if it’s a fluke and doesn’t happen again for quite some time. Point is – it finally happened. Maybe there is some potential for normalcy to life with kids after all.

(As a side note, I felt even worse about all of it when I realized getting her up this morning, that she had at some point thrown up all down the front of her crib last night. I know it’s normal, hysterical, screaming kids tend to do that. But she had never done it before and I didn’t hear it happen and I felt awful. There is just no fun in this cry it out method at all. But it’s my last resort and I know instilling good sleeping habits in her is very important so we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do. No matter how much I hate it.)

Posted by Kim at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)