Natural Parenting Fears
Now that I have a child, the one thing I want to do more than anything in the world is be a mom. If I am responsible for her, I would like to be the one responsible for her. (Meaning: if she learns something horrible at day care, I’m still responsible for it. So I would just rather be the one teaching her the horrible tricks myself.) I realize that’s not an option for us at this point and I come to terms with that daily. (Which, yes, means I get all pissy about it daily as well.) But that’s what I want.
And yet…
The one thing that scares me more than anything in the world? Raising a freaking child. Oh my holy cows! I just sat through a “Raising an Ethical Child” parenting class. There are too many things that can go wrong, too many ways I can fail. It’s simply terrifying. Sure, I can deal with “toddler.” But a child? A teenager? What the hell was I thinking??
And then… As I was walking out of the doctor’s office this afternoon, overhearing one of the doctor’s reading a study from his computer screen to the nurses standing around that 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD. I think I wanna go cry now.
Suddenly, I’m taking comfort in being able to place blame for her insanity, her misbehaviors, her brattiness on day care.*
*She has a wonderful day care. I am not saying they are doing anything wrong or damaging her in any way. In truth, they are why she is so well-behaved. I sure as hell haven’t had anything to do with that!
Comments
Welcome to my life! Pre-teens are hell! You have to have judgments on things you didn't want to care about and think "less" of other parents in order to keep your kid safe. In order to teach them you have to have thoughts and opinions on crap you really couldn't have cared less about.. till it effected your kid. And the STD thing, this is the first time they have ever looked at HPV as a true STD, that is why the numbers are so high. I am happy to say both my girls are into their 3 shot process to get the immunization for this.
Enjoy this age and relax, your potty chair drama and my math test scores are about the same on the stress level scale. Bottom line.. its always something!
Posted by: Kim | March 12, 2008 12:45 AM
I know that most parents who feel that raising a child is a "resonsibility" all the way to their toes (yes, I am one of the group) see anything that they consider "bad" as a failure to be a parent. That is why grandparents seem so different, we have learned that there isn't anything "bad" as long as the child is not harming themselves or something else. They want their hair green? It will grow out. Want to wear black lipstick? That too will pass. Say a swear word? It is the reaction of the people around them that make it unique, and just a simple statement that we don't talk that way will take away the uniqueness. None of which makes you a bad parent or responsible.
Madeleine is happy, healthy, mischeivious without being cruel,loving, and knows she is loved. You are doing a great job as her Mom, and anything more is growing up.
Some of the best advice I received was - parents are the guardrails on the road of life. Sometimes our children run into us; put in dents, batter and scrape us up, and occasionally will go over the edge that we try to protect them from. Even if that happens, by us being there we have softened the fall.
Remember that you have done your best and life will happen.....
Posted by: Diana | March 15, 2008 11:37 AM