Lost in Place

I'm not even going to call it an update because I kind of suck. I took next to NO pictures during the month of November and I paid very little attention to remember anything of note. Hmmm... maybe if I would post more often that wouldn't be an issue. Go figure.

But there are some big things about this month. Like, how on the first day of this month I got really, really brave and put her to bed in her own bed in her own room thinking it was useless. Turns out it totally wasn't. How cool is that? She's been in her own room, in her own bed all month. And it's usually fairly easy. It's been crazy. As in CRAZY COOL! Sure, I still end up in there with her and she's not sleeping through the night yet but I have my room and my nights back! Well, mostly. There is that sister of hers...

She's very attentive and has to be looking around all the time. She's not too thrilled about sitting still and doesn't really like you to sit down while you hold her. So that's fun. There's just too much to see in her world I guess. She still smiles all the time and has started to giggle hysterically at times. It's a riot to play with her. Diaper changes and clothes changes that should take only 1 or 2 minutes take at least 10 because she's too much fun to play with. And forget about hurrying to get ready in the mornings if she's awake. She should not be so cute and happy and fun to play with. Really. It would sure save me a whole lot of time.

I've been a lot more daring to venture out with this one. She has a lot more pleasant and mellow a temperament than Madeleine did so my anxiety is a little lessened this time around. Though the idea of taking them both somewhere - alone - still sends me into a panic. And yet I braved Disney on Ice with the two of them to go with my sister and her daughter. They were both surprisingly well behaved. I guess I don't really mind taking them out to things like that, it's the idea of shopping that makes me want to poke my eyes out. Shopping has become a thing of the past. Seriously - I haven't been grocery shopping since my mother-in-law was here. It's pathetic. But other things - like Disney on Ice, the occasional movie, activity-type things, are actually quite enjoyable with the two of them. But tasks. Oh, tasks. I'll pass.

Obviously she had her first Thanksgiving this year but really, can you count it as the "first Thanksgiving" if they can't even eat anything? She spent most of the long weekend crying and not sleeping. Maybe she really likes her routines and what she's familiar and comfortable with. She really did like hanging out with my dad in his big comfy chair though. She'd get situated just right and pass right out. Just in time for her to have to be moved for some reason which would wake her up and piss her off all over again.

I think the saddest part about this month has been that I have had to start seriously supplementing with formula for her. That's been really hard. I beat myself up for a really long time and tried so hard to put it off but then it just became not an option any longer. And, of course, she's still tiny but I swear she is gaining weight much more quickly now that she's actually get some actual food in to her on a regular basis. I'm still breastfeeding when I am with her but I have accepted the fact that I cannot supply nearly enough for her demand. It's extremely frustrating, sad and defeating for me.

She and Madeleine are already awesome buddies. The only time Elena takes steps is when she's going toward Madeleine, otherwise she's content just standing around. And she grins and jabbers to her big sister like she's the coolest thing on earth. And I KNOW that's not going to last so I will eat that up for as long as I possibly can. Well, that part of it may last but the big sister LETTING the little sister do it is another story. (Yeah, I'm a big sister. I know all about that.) I have started having some issues with Madeleine and the "new baby" that I really had expected to see at the beginning that would go away over time. It seems for us though they had to build up. She'll try to push her away from me, or take her off my lap or try to do mean things (thank heavens I've always caught her and they haven't been TOO mean so far). But we've been having all sorts of issues with Madeleine lately. Which breaks my heart. She used to be such a GOOD little girl, so happy and friendly and sweet. Now she's just mean. And can throw a fit like you wouldn't believe. And does! I'm trying really hard to give her some of her very own attention every day but I'm not the greatest mom (some days I wouldn't even say I'm a good mom) and I still get so frustrated and impatient with her, yelling at her and snapping at her and just getting plain angry. It's hard to be patient and consistent when she's throwing such a fit and I've got the baby crying in one arm while trying to deal with the screaming, unreasonable, flailing demon she too often is anymore. I was terrified of the first year with the baby because of the baby, not because of the other child. I had no idea it would be THIS hard. But at the same time, when they're both smiling and we're laughing and playing and being silly, I had no idea it could be THIS rewarding and simply awesome.

Posted by Kim at 5:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Have I mentioned how much I absolutely love this baby?

I slacked for too long and have forgotten most of the things I had wanted to include in this update. It'll be heavy on the pictures.

She started day care this month. She loves it. They love her. I love that they've somehow helped in creating this angel of a child that has replaced the little monster who couldn't be put down without screaming. She is such a happy baby now. Day care has a bouncy seat that moves with her movements, as opposed to the vibrating seats we've had. She loves it. I had decided we needed to just give in and get her one. In some crazy twist of luck, a friend of mine was getting rid of all her baby stuff and happened to have two of the bouncy seats (among many other useful things). I grabbed those right up and life hasn't been the same since. She loves them. She kicks and sets off the lights and music and grins as big as can be, so very proud of herself. It's adorable.

Another part of creating this happy little thing is the fact that she's found her thumb. She can quiet herself down on occasion and that just rocks. I'm not sure how I feel about the thumb-sucking. Sure, it's really stinking cute and serves a great purpose right now but when she's 3 and still sucking her thumb, I don't think it'll be quite as cute. In other words, I'm terrified of how to get her to stop when the time comes.

She had her first Halloween. Madeleine ate Halloween up this year. It was the first year she really "got it" and boy, did she GET IT. She was so excited for it, talked about it for weeks. They did all sorts of Halloween related activities and projects and school and the kid just couldn't get enough of it. She was excited to be Tinkerbell but only after I showed her the costume (I had already bought). She kept talking about being a witch and wanting to be a scary witch. It sounds like the time of me getting to choose what she is is just about up. Hmph.

A side story on that: She kept asking me what I was going to dress up as so one night I told her I would dress up as a bad mom. That stuck in her head for weeks. She was playing with her cousins one day and I was unaware of the conversation they were having at the time but they asked her what she was going to be, she told them, they asked what her mom was going to be, this was when I heard Madeleine mutter something but since I hadn't been paying attention, it meant nothing to me. Then she came up to me and said something else and I wasn't sure what it was she was saying. One of her cousins said, "What are you going to be for Halloween?" I laughed because I then realized what it was Madeleine had said, so I said, "A bad mom." And Madeleine turned around with the biggest nanner-nanner look on her face and said, "SEE! I TOLD YOU!" It was hilarious and adorable. Needless to say, after this Halloween's costume fiasco, I will be dressing up for that kid next year.

The month came and went and was fairly uneventful. We're getting into a bit of a routine, a small bit of a schedule. I still feel like we're drowning in stuff though. Since I have no real time to clean and nowhere to put anything anyway, things end up everywhere since there are two tiny kids with way too much stuff living in a very small space. So once I can get the space we do have cleaned up and un-cluttered, I think life will be great. The girls are awesome, the baby just blows my mind with her complete cuteness and insane smiles. While the three-year old tantrums are nothing I look forward to every day (and we have at least one every day), they're made up for with the adorableness and sweetness she exudes during her good moments.

Posted by Kim at 4:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A monthly update on just one child is a bit more difficult than I had expected. So at the risk of throwing the universe out of alignment, I'm going to change things up a bit. Conveniently for me, (you know she planned it this way) the itty bitty baby chose to be born on the first of the month. So I'll keep doing the "monthly updates" but they will be for the actual month and for both kids, if not the whole family.

The second month, September, was a bit easier than the first. I could finally put her down on occasion without the screaming. She sleeps big chunks of the night - sometimes - and someday she'll do it in her own room! She's at 9 lbs, 8 oz. but seems so much bigger. I spent the month working from home with her, going in to the office for a bit here and there. I would take her in with me, put her in her sling and wear her at my desk and around the office. It worked out very well. She would sleep and I would feel like I was being productive. Everyone in the office thought it was absolutely adorable that she would just curl up and snore-hum while I worked. She was the novelty of the month. Working while at home was not quite as easy. I didn't leave her in the sling so she didn't do a whole lot of sleeping since she would only sleep while held. But I mastered the art of balancing her on my lap, in my arm or on a pillow on my lap while I worked. I also found a new addiction while I was working at home. Our house is so quiet that I would turn the TV on for background noise. My family is always watching NCIS while I am there and there were a few marathons on while I was at home so I'd turn it to that station - turns out it's not so bad. Needless to say, I'm now an NCIS junkie.

Madeleine was still going to day care those days (hey, if we have to pay for it, she's going!), so it was just the two of us. It was nice. But I was excited to get back to work so that the real world would have some consistency and routine. I loved the time I had at home with her. I could do it for real if that's what was going to be our lives but given that I knew it was temporary and work was back and forth with having to go in at random times, it kind of took its toll. So at the end of the month, I went back to work for real and her Nana came to visit for a couple of weeks to watch her before we put her in day care.

It was amazing how fast the time went. The four weeks of maternity leave flew by in the blink of an eye and then, in one breath, it was like September was over and it had been eight weeks and life had to start again. While it was a little chaotic and annoying running up and down the mountain at random times, it was a nice transition back into the real world. And like I mentioned earlier, the month was easier. She mellowed out a bit and we got the knack of things a little more. Like a semi-predictable feeding and eating schedule, the best way to hold her, how to play with her, how to survive through the night when neither one of us sleeps, how to help the big one get dressed while the little one is eating or being held those kinds of things.

We also discovered a solution to the ear-plugging Madeleine tries to do to drown out her screaming baby sister. In the car, anyway. Our car DVD player came with headphones (she calls them her speakers), so Dan dragged them out and gave them to Madeleine. Now, every time we get in the car, Miss Monster "demands" her speakers be on her head. Hey, it works. One screaming kid is bad enough. Now we just need to figure out a fix for when we're in the house.

I had expected a little more drama from Madeleine in the beginning. It didn't start until the end of this second month. When her Nana got here and started doing things for her that Mommy usually does, I think it occurred to her that Mommy was already not doing nearly as much as she used to and now even less since Nana is helping, so she's been quite the dramatic three-year old with the "I want my Mommy." It may be what I had expected but it certainly is difficult. The feelings of guilt, of frustration, of impatience, of inadequacy, it's hard to cope knowing you're indirectly disappointing your child. And the idea that I am rewarding her with my attention when she just whines and whines drives me absolutely crazy. So I've made a very intentional effort to redirect and try to focus on the positives and the happies and give lots of attention for that before she has the meltdowns. I don't want her learning that misbehaving is the only way to get attention, or the best way. Ha. Good luck, right?

This month has given us lots of firsts - with the baby and as a family. We had her first smile. Which I am putting down for the record books as the weekend we were in Vernal and she was totally flirting with her Uncle Chad. She would grin from ear to ear while he would play with her. He would walk away and she would stop. He would come back and so would the grin. I would say that's pretty deliberate and official. So that was September 12 (yes, that's more for me to be able to remember than for you to care about). And she's been smiling like a crazy person ever since. Seriously, the kid smiles ALL the time. It's adorable. Especially with the dimples.

She went to her first wedding. Stayed in her first hotel room. Took her first "trip" (that wasn't to Vernal). And went to her first National Park. All at the same time. My brother got married in Moab (more on that later - Miss Monster was a flower girl!) so we drove down for the weekend for that. Not only were some of those the first for the baby, they were firsts for Madeleine and I as well. We'd never been to Moab before, we'd never seen any of the arches or anything. That was great to do with my entire family. Madeleine loved it and I had a pretty great time as well. (Not sure about Dan, but he didn't seem completely miserable at any point.) I will post more about that in its own post but I just wanted to note that for Elena, she did pretty stinking awesome on her first trip. I don't count the trips to Vernal because those are just a fact of life, and well, she screams the whole way there every time.

That was another thing we "figured" out - if we want to travel, we have to do it during the day. When we leave for Vernal, it's usually after work on a Friday. Well - that's the time of night she's up and awake and wants interaction and to NOT be stuck in her car seat for three straight hours. So she screams and screams the whole way. We worked it out, traveled to and from Moab during the day and it worked perfectly.

The only other "first" I think is worth mentioning is that she had her first day without Mom during this month. And she was a champ. Much more so than I apparently. I did just fine Madeleine's first day of day care, I went back to work with no problem whatsoever. This time was a little harder. I don't think it helped that in dropping off Madeleine that day, she absolutely melted down and wanted her Mommy worse than ever. That was heart-wrenching given I'd just left the other one for the first time too. But it got better. Kind of. I miss both kids this time around a lot more than I would have imagined. I was always completely comfortable that I worked and Madeleine was in day care all day - she was LEARNING. But now, for some unknown reason, it's harder. I just want the day to end so I can get home to my kids. Even though once I'm home with them, I spend the entire night just trying to get them to quiet down and chill out. I guess you just can't win. That's the story of parenthood. Right?

Posted by Kim at 4:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I wasn’t actually planning on doing an eighteen-month post so forgive me if it’s a bit slapdash.

So she’s huge now. But still so very tiny. 21 pounds (I only know this because she’s been to the doctor a million times lately), no idea how tall, all too curious and mobile, very independent, crazy as can be, and oh so very animated. She has more personality than I will ever know what to do with.

I have spent 32 of the last 50 days with her. There was only one point where I was ready to stop spending so much time with her and ship her back to day care. I found that the more time I spent with her, the more time I want to spend with her. That’s good and also not good at all.

She has traveled a ton in the last few months. She’s a great traveler. Even when we think she’s being unbearable, she still gets comments from strangers about how great and well-behaved she is. No idea what those people were smoking.

She sleeps so well. Her bedtime is pretty flexible but it’s rarely a fight and once she’s down, she’s down. (Unless she’s fighting teeth. Then we all hate life.) She’s definitely our child in that she doesn’t wake up earlier than the freaking sun. We love that. We appreciate that. We also love that she does it in her very own bed in her very own room now. That’s been so very awesome. I think she loves that too. Napping is not so easy though. No, they’re a big fight. And on weekends or days she’s not at day care, she’s already down to just one nap a day. Which is great when she actually takes it. She’s still afraid she’ll miss something. Napping is just not in her ideal agenda.

She loves pasta and cheese and fruit and yogurt. Still not a big meat fan and, as every other kid in the world, refuses her vegetables. She’s just started using utensils and hanging out while she feeds herself. It’s made mealtimes so much more – I don’t know, survivable? She actually insists on utensils now and will not eat with her fingers. Sure, she’ll play in her food with her fingers, but if it goes in to her mouth, it must be on a fork or spoon. Which must be in HER hand. Not yours. Don’t even think of trying to feed her. And, much to my pleasure, she is her father’s daughter and isn’t a huge fan of sugar. I’m sure that will change, but right now I love that fact that she will say no to cookies and ice cream. But the kid will down a bowl of berries before you can even know what happened to them.

She knows Nemo and Elmo and Minnie Mouse and will very excitedly point them out to you wherever you are. She loves books and has started asking us to read them to her on her own. She also loves her cell phones and will wander the house endlessly, deep in important conversation. She will make a toy out of anything. I still have pumpkins in the house from Halloween because she plays with them so much. She loves to dance and has started enjoying music. And she loves to go for walks – loves to walk. Gone are the days of being held or wanting to be held. She has too much to do and see to have you hold her back.

She has more words than we can keep track of. She knows them well and knows how to use most of them correctly. It seems every few days there is a new one. And so, more for me than for you, I’ll leave you with her 18-month vocabulary list. (Cuz really, how the heck else am I going to remember any of it?)

No
Dog
Mommy
Dada
Walk
Milk
Juice
Bottle
Water
Snow
Cheese
Waffle
Elmo
Nemo
Mouse
Bear
Pooh (the bear!)
Shoes
Book
Cute
Pretty
Wow
Movie
Banana
Nana
Baby
Ball
Blue
A, B, C, D
What’s this?
What’s that?
Whee!!
Bath
Woof!
Choo-Choo
And, boy, can she ROAR!

Posted by Kim at 2:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This has been the month of 8 million teeth, grunting, jumping, whining, puking, giggling and so much more.

It’s hard to believe we’ve made it been through twelve months already. Each one getting easier and yet harder than the month before it. It really did go by so fast and yet, last June feels like ages ago.

This month she has discovered she can grunt for things she wants. That’s been fun. And if you don’t listen the first couple times, it turns into major whining and fit throwing until she does get what she wants. The other night, I was on the phone with my sister while I was making dinner. I had just grabbed a spatula out of the drawer to serve it and was walking around with it for a minute. Little Miss Must Have Everything started making obnoxious noises and I, paying only half attention, thought “what a spaz, chill out.” A few seconds later, she was reaching and screaming, trying to get the spatula from me. So, thinking it was so cute that she knows how to express she wants something specific, I gave it to her. Way to not give in to the demon-child’s every whim. Whatever, I had plenty more to serve dinner with and it occupied her long enough that I actually could serve dinner. Things like that are hard to come by these days! Anything longer than a split second and god only knows what the kid will end up doing/putting in her mouth.

She is most definitely in the stage of putting things in her mouth. I hate this stage. It needs to go away just as quickly as it stormed in and ruined my life. I cannot take my eyes off her for a second or it’s a fishing expedition in a baby’s mouth. And it’s not only small things she finds on the floor. It’s ANYTHING she can get her hands on. It doesn’t even have to fit in her mouth, she’ll just put her mouth on as much of it as she can cover. And then chew. We have teeth marks on everything now. Her crib? Her brand new crib she had never even slept in? First thing she did - chew on the rail. She occasionally tests out the biting people – okay, probably only me – waters. She looks at me before she does it, like she’s gauging the likely-hood of getting away with it. And for the record, no, she doesn’t.

She now has eight teeth. Well, almost eight. She absolutely has six and the other top two have started coming out. So I’ll count them since I can feel them when she chomps down on my fingers. She loves to have her teeth brushed which is so very cute because she will usually get so excited for it. Lately she has taken to biting down really hard on the plastic-finger-thinger (which, yeah, my finger is in it and really does feel it). It’s high time to graduate her to a toothbrush I am thinking.

The child has a third hand. That would be her mouth. Remember how I said she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth? Wanna get something from here to there? Well just put it in your mouth! She can crawl with things in her hands but it’s oh so much more speedy to shove it in the mouth and have hands-free speed-crawling across the house. Not only is the mouth good for chewing and biting, it’s a great packhorse as well! She’ll put little toys in and crawl around every where with them dangling from her lips. She has a little red strap that looks like a toy tongue that she packs around. The other night, she put a puff container between her teeth and packed it around the living room. That was quite a site. It was too long for her normal approach so she had to tilt her head a little so it didn’t drag on the ground and trip her up.

And speaking of her mouth… She’s been taking lessons from the old, cool, basketball-playing Michael Jordan. If she doesn’t have something in her mouth, she’s got that tongue dangling out of it. To the front, to the side, doesn’t matter. Tongue must be out.

She also climbs everything. Especially people. Even more especially when she wants to be held. She'll climb up your leg and latch on and not let go til you pry her off to pick her up. If you don't pick her up, but just pry her off and put her back down, an instant later, she's completely attached to your knees again. And she weighs nothing so sometimes it's hard to know she's even there. Which can be bad. Really bad. Like when she's attached to the back of your legs so you don't see her and you're paying attention to other things. But of course, I would have no experience with that.

She waves to everyone now. We go for a lot of walks at night and she waves to people clear down the street, or cars driving by, or birds flying by. Waving, waving, waving. It's her new thing. She's always got that hand going when she sees other people. She waves when we leave her at day care and when we pick her up. The first time she waved to me when I dropped her off, it made me so sad. Now it's cute. Especially when she waves to every single person as we leave. Hey - at least she's starting out friendly. For now.

She has recently started the seated jumping thing. Mostly when she sees her dad. She gets very excited. Her hands go up in the air and she bounces up and down on her knees and just squeals. It’s hilarious. I say she usually does it when she sees Dan, but she also does it when no one is paying any attention to her at all or is even in the same room with her. So who knows. She’s a nut. She’s started adding some giggling to it too. Which is something else entirely. She’s never really laughed much. I’m sure I’ve mentioned that. The last week or so that has changed entirely. She will giggle like crazy. Nothing is cuter. Nothing. And hers is so funny.

Something that is not so funny is her new eating habits. She has no interest whatsoever in her food – only your food. She rarely eats baby food – even Cheerios and puffs which are baby crack to her are so not cool now. No, she has to eat whatever you’re eating. Doesn’t matter what it is. She’s like a begging dog. Literally. She’ll stand at the chair and stare and moan and grunt and whimper til you give in and give her a bit and then she’ll grin and squeal and then start all over again. Exactly like the dogs. It pretty much started a week or so ago when we ordered pizza. She whined and whined, because apparently I starve the kid - so I gave her a small piece of the crust. Not really sure what the hell I was thinking. She ate a bit of the crust, no big deal – it was new and novel. Then we ordered pizza again this weekend. I put a couple pieces on my plate and went to sit down and eat my dinner. She was in the middle of the floor when I started. I sat down, she looked, saw the pizza, shrieked at the top of her lungs, giggled and teleported herself to my knees. She did it every time Dan or I sat down to try to eat any of the pizza. She’ll climb up, grab on to your legs and giggle and grin and grab until you give in. She’s actually taken a couple pieces off the plate but never tried eating it. She grabs it and sort of flings it around showing you, “This! This is what I want you over-grown idiot!” So apparently, if we ever really need her to eat, we just need to get some pizza crust.

Conveniently, the begging all started right when we’re able to give her a lot more foods now and she’s actually willing to try about anything that you feed her (or that she finds on the floor – mmmmm yummy rocks - ARG!). She may not like it, and it may come out all over the floor in little, chewed up, mooshy pieces, but she tried it. Or, she may like it and still chew it up and spit it out just BECAUSE SHE CAN. Which I have accepted is the way of life from here on out. I get it. I am accepting it early and giving in to the drama that will forever be the baby’s way or no way. I figure life will be much easier getting that out of the way now instead of trying to fight it for years to come.

She has just learned "uh oh" in the last couple of days. It's all I've heard. She even uses it correctly most of the time which is so cute. For now - I know it will soon get old. But for now, it's adorable.

Random Things I’ve Learned During the Twelfth Month:

- Incredibly sick babies are absolutely no fun. But they are so cute in their cuddly, mellowness.
- Not being able to immediately fix your incredibly sick baby is heartbreaking.
- Giggly babies are contagious.
- Two words: baby songs. Love ‘em!
- Up! Up! Up! Does not exist for itty-bitty babies but when bigger babies figure it out… all yah see is their chins because Up! is somehow so fascinating.

Posted by Kim at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Five teeth.
Crawling like a madwoman.
Barely 17 pounds.
Pulling up on everything.
Almost standing by herself.
Babbling endlessly.
Tantrums like you wouldn’t believe.

Oh? You want more? Then YOU come live with her!

It seems with every phase that moves forward in happy/cool ways, there are the pieces that make you want to tear your eyes out. Like, it’s so very cute how she speeds across the floor to the other side of the room. But not so cute that you can’t reach the little pieces of god knows what before she’s shoved them in her mouth. How it’s absolutely adorable that she’s found her voice and sings and jabbers and tells all sorts of stories. But absolutely annoying that she shrieks in hatred any time you don’t let her have exactly what she wants exactly when she wants it. So sweet that she cuddles up against you when she feels like it and not at all sweet when she doesn’t and shoves away from you so fiercely that you about drop her on her head.

I took her home to Utah with me for my sister’s baby shower which meant she got to see her dogs. I didn’t think either of them would remember each other. Chances are, they really didn’t. But that doesn’t mean Madeleine wasn’t completely fascinated and in love with them. (Which broke my heart to leave them there all over again.) She loves dogs. My sister has an obnoxious Pomeranian that loved to jump all over Madeleine. I really don’t know which one of them loved it more. There was almost a sense that she really did remember Scully because she really wanted that dog the whole time. And Jordan too but Jordan didn’t want a thing to do with her. Surprise. Surprise.

She also loves baths and being outside. I finally caved and let her graduate from the bath seat to having free reign of the bathtub. She loves it. She can move and chase her toys and play with everything and sit however she wants and climb the sides and do everything that absolutely freaks the holy crap out of her mother. She loves going outside too. She doesn’t care what she does while she’s out there, she just likes being out there. The weather has finally been nice enough to take her out quite a bit. I know at day care they spend a lot of time outside with her and she’d have it that way at home too if her parents were nicer. The nice thing is - we can combine the two! We bought her a little pool for the summer that we can put a little water in and let her sit in. We got it out the other day after we did some yard work. The water was freezing cold but she didn’t care one bit. She sat right down and hung out, playing with her toys until it got too cold to leave her out there. That’s going to save my life this summer, I am sure.

Her favorite thing to do lately is to sit in her room and pull every book, CD and DVD off her shelf and scatter them everywhere. Actually, if it’s in something and she can get hold of it, she’ll pull it out and scatter it. Diapers. Clothes. Toys. Papers. Cords. Pretty much anything she can get her little hands on. And you can’t keep her hands off anything so she’s been all sorts of fun.

While we were in Utah, she started making “fish lips.” It started with her just sucking her cheeks in and pushing her lips out. It has morphed into smacking, kissy noises. And she does it all the time. It’s very cute. Sometimes she’ll do it on her own just for fun. Other times, she’ll do it to you and go back and forth with you doing it to her. Then she grins and giggles because she just loves to play games. That’s been the coolest thing so far I think. That she gets it now. She knows she has control, she knows she can do things and she knows she can be playful and silly. That cognitive realization on her part has been the most fun and probably the best part so far. That she can react and respond has been so great but even better is that she can initiate and start the games now. And she knows that’s cool. Which makes it even cuter. She has this face, this “Yep, I’m the coolest thing around” face that you can’t help but laugh at.

She loves to be put in boxes. A couple of weeks ago, to entertain her and CHILL HER OUT, I put her in an empty Huggies box and pushed her around the house. She thought it was the coolest thing ever. And then, a few nights later, I put her in a storage tub and pushed her around in it. It was also so cool. Then I put her in a little box she barely fit in. She didn’t care, she had a blast. Now if there’s an empty box around, she tries to climb in it. She doesn’t care if it’s moving or not, she just likes sitting in them. Whatever keeps her happy…

She’s also had probably the roughest month this past month. Remember last month when I was all, “teething was a breeze! Woo! Woo!” Slap me. Hard. Those first two were terrible teases. She was getting multiple teeth at once so she was pretty grouchy. On top of that, she managed to get a nasty sinus infection. The two combined about killed us all. She wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. She was hardly eating. She was generally miserable all day long which doesn’t make her parents all that cheerful either. She happened to get the sinus infection the same week that her day care had the plague so I guess it worked out okay. She was having to be at home anyway so it didn’t matter so much that the day care had to have cleaners come in and sanitize everything because they had so many things break out all at once. Those of us who ended up in doctors’ offices for whatever reason got to hear that “things are going around like crazy now,” but it’s still a little crazy hearing that so many kids were sick with so many different things all at once. But now everyone’s all better and everything’s been cleaned and sanitized and they’re all back to normal.

And speaking of day care… Yeah… Let’s talk about day care for a minute. When I drop her off in the mornings you’d think I’d spent the night tormenting and torturing her. She cannot get out of my arms fast enough in the morning. She will actually start pushing off me trying to get down and throw a fit if they don’t get to the door fast enough in the morning. Once they do get to the door, she grins from ear to ear and puts out her arms and practically jumps to them. One day, a couple of weeks ago, she started screaming because Patricia and I were talking for a couple of minutes and she didn’t take Madeleine as soon as she opened the door. So yeah, that’s the morning ritual. The evening – when we go to pick her up? Not much better. She’ll look at us and smile but how DARE we take her away from her toys and her friends?! Who do we think we are trying to get her to come home with us? How dare we interrupt her day!? Sure, it’s a million times better than her being miserable and hating day care, but come on! Are we really that terrible to her? That boring? We’re so screwed if that’s the case already.

Random Things I’ve Learned During the Eleventh Month:
- It doesn’t matter what you do, you cannot keep them clean anymore.
- Dirty baby clothes are nowhere near as cute as clean ones.
- Picky eating habits start too early.
- The only thing that makes you move faster than your baby choking is your baby falling over in the bathtub.
- Baby songs are the best songs ever.
- Baby stories are the best stories ever.
- This child is never going to wean.
- Baby teeth are so teeny and cute.

Posted by Kim at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Every month as days go by, I tell myself, “write that down so you don’t forget it come monthly post time.” Every month. Do I do it? Have I ever done it? No. “I’m not going to forget THAT. There’s no way!” Come post time, I don’t have a damn clue what to include. What happened this month? When? Wasn’t that last month? I can’t keep track. And this month? This has been the craziest, most to report on month yet. And what do I remember? Uhhh….. Let’s work on that...

Teeth. Scooting. Crawling. Eating (or not eating, rather). Tantrums. Playing. Sleeping. I know there are more. I know it. And since I never write anything down, they’re lost. In the abyss that is my brain. Never to be found again.

But of the things I do remember, or at least think I do... We'll cover them briefly because of course I don’t remember details. What a great start to this whole Mom thing, huh?

Teeth. She’s got ‘em. She uses ‘em. They’re sharp. They hurt. She had her two bottom front teeth come in at the exact same time. I was terrified of the teething process. I just knew she would be unbearable. That’s just my luck. Everyone warned me of teething. I had all sorts of plans on how to make it less painful for her, I was ready. But. Wait. What? They’re here already?? But there was no warning! There was no fussing! There was nothing but two little spots to tell me she was getting teeth. And they lasted barely two days until POP! Two little teethies poked right up. While she was getting them she would not let you see in her mouth. The girl’s jaw has a grip. She loves to have them brushed though. I think she just loves the toothpaste. Might as well be giving her candy.

Scooting & Crawling. This happened too fast. Last month it took all the effort she had to move around. Not that she wouldn’t do it, but she was kind of like a little turtle. Slow but determined. Then she got a little quicker. She’d scoot anywhere and everywhere. Then? Oh. Oh dear. About two weeks ago she just up and crawled. I cried. Not because “oh, my baby’s growin’ up.” Not because it’s an important milestone. Not because I was so happy that I got to see her crawl for the first time since I was home with her since day care was closed. No. None of those reasons. I cried because oh shit – what am I supposed to do now? She’s mobile. She can move from place to place. By herself. Without my help. Or worse – without my approval. I can’t just leave her in one room anymore and walk to the other room for a minute. She follows me! It’s really kind of creepy. Tiny little creature crawling up to you, grabbing your legs. You kinda just want to cringe away. They’re not supposed to do that. They’re supposed to be helpless and still and whine and cry when they want to be moved. I know, what rock am I living under? It is very cute. She was very slow and hesitant at first. She wasn’t really sure of what she was doing and what moves when and what goes where. But now she’s a little turbo-baby. And she’s learned to run (well… you know what I mean) away. The joys that’s going to bring.

Eating. If it’s baby food consistency, she’s not interested. We’re back to bribing her with her own spoon to get her mouth open enough to shove food in it. She’s great if she can feed herself, she loves the solid foods. You know what she loves even more than that? Baby crack. She shovels those things down like you wouldn’t believe. I try not to give her too many of them, I know they give her plenty of them at day care. And really, if it’s anything she can put in her mouth herself, she’s fine. Pieces of cheese, chunks of toast, pieces of mushy fruit. It’s just the liquid food she’s not so fond of anymore. I mean, come on – it’s for babies. I’m glad that she can eat a wider variety of food as she gets older. I can’t wait until nothing is off limits and I can just let her go crazy. I do think I am more paranoid and careful than I really need to be. I feel like I am holding her back in the food tastes and experiences she could probably have at this point. But with all the “don’ts” out there, it’s hard to keep track and know what truly is a “do not feed this to your child. Period.” So I err on the side of caution and am a wuss. Poor, food-enjoyment-neglected kid. I’ll work on that one though.

Tantrums. Oh yes. These are fun. Why didn’t anyone tell me they started this young?? We had our first How DARE you take that away from me! fit a few weeks ago. And the But I don’t WANT to do that right now! fits. She’s a diva as it is. Now that she can throw deliberate fits? I’m so screwed.

She loves playing with her toys when she’s in a good mood. Which, really is pretty often. I know I make her sound like an evil monster but she really is a well-mannered baby. She’s quite independent and will happily play by herself when she wants to. Her favorite toy right now is her Pack ‘n Play. “Put me in. Take me out. Put me in. Take me out.” But more than that, she LOVES to push against the mesh sides. And loves it even more when you push back at her. She thinks it’s hilarious. She is getting very playful herself. She loves to play with people and loves it even more when they play back. Now that she’s mobile, she makes a game out of that as well.

She’s sleeping a little bit better but that’s not why I mentioned it. It’s how she sleeps that let it make the list. Her new thing is to sleep on her belly with her legs up underneath her with her butt up in the air. It doesn’t matter how you put her to sleep, that’s how she ends up. It’s very funny.

Oh! And the screeching!!! We thought it was bad before. She’s always had a loud, high pitched squeal that she’s done forever. It has just evolved with her. Now it’s an ear-piercing, loud as can be screech that she does whenever she feels like it. Which usually happens to be when we’re out in public in a semi-quiet place surrounded by strangers. She thinks she’s a hoot. Especially when the strangers around her start smiling and laughing at her. That just adds fuel to her fire. And they get louder and longer and higher and more and more painful. (The sound AND the embarrassment factor.) It really is kind of funny but I don’t want to add fuel to her fire so I refuse to entertain it. Though it does no good when everyone else around thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever and has to tell her so. Hmph.

This month I would say has been one of the most fun so far. Granted, it’s the month she’s done the most growing up and it’s freaking me out that I don’t have a “baby” anymore. But she’s growing up and learning and figuring things out and it’s so much fun to watch that.

Random Things I’ve Learned During the Tenth Month:
- Nothing makes you move faster than your baby choking. (I know, what a way to start a list, huh?)
- Do NOT tease with the puffs. It’s not a joke.
- Bath time can be the most productive time of the day if everything is portable.
- Walks outside in the nice weather can save your sanity.
- So can walks around the house in the stroller. (??? Makes no difference to her)
- Cuddly babies = best babies ever
- Independent, do things for themselves babies = also best babies ever

Posted by Kim at 4:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I KNOW.

It’s very late.

I had intentionally planned on waiting until after her 9 month checkup to post her update. Then that came and went. And now it’s two weeks later and here it is. Finally.

Everyone who is around her regularly has been amazed at the different person she is now. One day last month, she just woke up and realized she didn’t hate the world and everyone in it. And that has made life so much easier.

We started the month going through our first food fights. I know, they are no match for those to come but it was impossible to get her to eat anything. So I tricked her. (Yes, I’m starting already and no, it probably won’t end. Ever.) If she had a spoon in her hand, she was content. And if she just happened to put that spoon in her mouth, well, that meant she had an open mouth. So I would wait for that and shove the food in when she didn’t expect it. It worked for a few bites anyway. And then, one night, she decided she was hungry and ate an entire jar of food without any bribing or tricking and then even wanted more when it was gone. Who is this kid????

The switch seems to have happened the weekend my sister came to visit. Maybe she’s magic? Just not magic enough... Remember my excitement about getting to go grocery shopping? Yeah. Well. Even with two people, it’s still impossible. The kid HATES it. We tried. We took treats and toys and even carried her. I need a personal grocery shopper or a delivery service. She’s evil.

Oh – treats. The Gerber Puffs are like crack to her. It’s pathetic. She’s worse than the dogs. If you shake the container in front of her, she shakes all over, her eyes about bulge out of her head, the excitement just cannot be contained. Which is good for when we go out to eat and want to actually eat our food. We’ve learned that if we take some of those along with us, we can sit her down and feed her a few of those and she’s happy as can be.

She’s started being very curious about everything. We had her in a high chair, eating her puffs, the other day at the mall and it was anything we could do to get her attention away from staring down every little thing around her. She has to examine everything. With her eyes, her hands, and especially her mouth. Everything goes in the mouth. That’s been loads of fun.

She isn’t crawling yet but that doesn’t mean anything is out of her reach anymore. She scoots and rolls and stretches and grabs absolutely everything she is not supposed to have.

She is getting very coherent of her actions and surroundings. She gets when she is being silly and playing and knows when she is being funny. She’s learning how to tease and play with you as opposed to just letting you play with her. She’s also getting very independent in playing by herself. She’ll sit on the floor and play with her toys for quite a while now. There was a day at day care a while ago that one of the ladies didn’t even know she was there most of the day because she was so quite and interested in her toys.

And the whole reason I waited to do the post in the first place (if I forgot to include that after all the waiting and procrastinating, well let’s just say it’s a GOOD thing I just remembered) … She’s 16.4 pounds and 27 inches long. And while 16 pounds may seem teeny (I know, it is), YOU try lugging her around all day!

Posted by Kim at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ummm…. Where’d my baby go? And more importantly – Where the heck did this kid come from?

She’s not mobile yet. No crawling, or scooting really. She can turn herself in circles and of course roll everywhere. But no forward or backward motion. In all of my reading and talking to other moms, I can’t decide if I should be bothered by that or just remember that all kids develop differently. I’m going for the latter until we get her in for her next pediatrician appointment at least. That’s not to say I can put her down in one place and expect her to still be there even ten seconds later. Oh no. I actually have to pay attention to where I leave the baby now.

The other day I was playing with her as she sat on the couch and I realized that she looks more like a little kid now than a baby at all. Every day brings a new trick, a new game, a new way of showing how independent she thinks she is. She has so many things that she does now. 8 months old and already has OCD, I tell yah! Every time we walk up the stairs, she HAS to touch the knob on the banister. When we leave a room, if we pass a light switch – she MUST touch it. And if she happens to turn off the light? Well we’re stuck there turning on and off the lights until she bores of it.

Continue reading "Month Eight" »

Posted by Kim at 10:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

If I am not doing five things at once, I often feel lazy or bored. The other night I was sitting on the floor playing with the baby and her toys and it occurred to me that I didn’t want to be doing anything else at all. She is becoming this interactive little person who thinks she’s the coolest thing ever.

She’s not wrong.

She learned to sit-up by herself very quickly this past month. I put her on the floor with a blanket around her a couple of times and before I knew it, she didn’t need the blanket anymore. She began the month with toppling right over and ended it with sitting completely by herself for extended periods. Granted, she still topples over every now and again, when she gets bored or too excited and can’t figure out which way to reach. It has made life a whole lot easier though. We can put her down and surround her with toys and she can easily entertain herself for quite a while - especially now that she is figuring out how to play with her toys.

She does have a few favorite toys already. One of them is practically as big as she is. She still loves her giraffe and now she has a gigantic dog that NEVER SHUTS UP! and her gloworm. She grins at them and laughs at them and talks to them like you wouldn’t believe. Mostly she just likes to shove as much of them as she can in to her mouth. If it has lights or makes noise, it passes. If it has lights AND makes noise? Well that’s just the best thing ever. Yes, I already want to throw myself out a window from all the talking and the singing and the beeping and the clattering. Of course she loves the toys that make noise because I swore I’d have as few as possible.

6-months old brought her first Christmas, her first New Year’s Eve (which she so kindly slept right through – well, the “midnight” part of it, anyway), her first swim, her first solid foods (that weren’t rice cereal because that so doesn’t count), her first bloody nose (damn Utah air) her first tastes of actual food of which she is a big fan. Though apparently not of pears. Bring on the vegetables though. We started her with avocados in Utah and she wasn’t really sure about that. Each new food, of course, takes her a while but then she’ll devour it. Except for pears.

With each month that passes she becomes more and more her own person. She is gaining so much control over her movements and sounds. And her parents.

We learned from taking her swimming that she is a big fan of the water. She can't get enough. She has moved to the “big kid” seat in her bathtub. We have the kind that has different spots for newborns and infants/toddlers. She thinks it’s so cool that she actually gets to sit up in her bath now. It makes for a much wetter experience for both of us. She splashes with her arms and legs and has recently started trying to push herself up and forward to get to the other side. The kid knows no fear.

She’s getting much better in the car. We bought a pacifier chain to help keep track of it when she spits it out but that’s only the secondary use for her. She enjoys playing with and chewing on the flowers of it more than she likes the actual pacifier. But whatever keeps her entertained! She’s getting a lot better about sleeping on the commute as well. That’s been sanity-saving. The screams are few and far between and mostly it’s a pleasant ride to and from work each day. (As pleasant as a 1-hour, boring as hell drive can be for anyone.)

We’ve not had the dogs here for a large portion of this month. It’s been pretty sad, especially with as interactive as she’s getting. I’m sure sitting up would help her grab puppy tails a lot more easily. I doubt she notices, or cares if she does, but I feel bad that they aren’t around to gradually go through all the steps with her. They’re going to come back to a mobile demon-child and not know what in the world to do or how to escape her or why won’t this thing keep her mouth off of me??

Random Things I’ve Learned During the seventh month:

-I still have another year to have to care about Christmas.
-Baby food is messy and it seriously can stain. And it smells nasty. Especially after making its way through the system.
-When you’re sorting baby clothes, make sure you pay attention so that when you’re pulling the next size out you don’t realize you missed some that she never even got to wear because you put them in the wrong stinking size section.
-When baby clothes say “6 months” it means 3-6 months, not 6-9 months.
-When the baby is so tiny anyway, it doesn’t really matter what the sizes say because she can still wear pajamas that are 0-3 months so just try it on already!
-When she likes the water, don’t take her out ‘til she’s good and ready (i.e. BLUE), otherwise you will have hell to pay.

Posted by Kim at 4:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, let’s see… So many things to tell and no memory of what they are.

She is so close to sitting up by herself. I remind her every day that she’s just a baby and she can stay that way for a while, she doesn’t have to be in such a hurry. But she really does try so hard. ..And then she finds her feet and couldn’t care less because apparently they are the tastiest treats around and she face plants onto them.

She is gradually becoming more independent. Meaning I can put her down and walk away for a few minutes before she goes into meltdown mode. She can actually entertain herself for quite some time in her exersaucer (I’m telling yah, BEST decision ever). I can even put her on the floor or the bed and not have to sit next to her the entire time. She’ll find her feet and jabber up a storm.

The jabbering… Oh lord, the jabbering. She will go on and on and on and… Every few days she’ll pick up a new sound and she does it over and over again. It’s very cute. She will occasionally wake us up with her jabbering (certainly prefer it over screams). It’s so funny. And some mornings, if we sleep longer than she wants us to, she will scoot her way over close enough to start petting and patting us until we wake up. So, yeah, smacks in the eye are pretty common during our mornings. She still has her screech. She will get going with those anytime, anywhere. Especially if your ear happens to be anywhere near her mouth. She thinks it’s hilarious.

She is starting to catch on that she’s funny. And boy, does she think she’s funny. (She’s not wrong.) She will do something, grin maniacally and do it again and again. She doesn’t laugh a whole lot, that’s what her high-pitched screech is for. But now and again she will giggle and it’s the cutest thing ever. She has this thing that if I kiss her cheek, she’ll turn her head to mine and umm… try to kiss me back with big open mouth and chomping down of very tough baby gums? Yeah, she bites. So I’ll kiss her, she’ll bite me and then she’ll make an evil little laugh and do it again. The other night she was doing it to my forehead. And she had such a tight grip on so much of my hair, I wasn’t going anywhere.

She has started actually playing with toys. She can reach for them, hold on to them, move them around, stick them in her mouth, throw them on the floor and then freak out when she can’t get them anymore. She has a few favorites, but I think she likes most to play with the dogs. While she can’t stick them in her mouth (she sure does try though), she loves to sit and watch them, reach for them and make sounds at them. We can actually take toys out with us and use them as distractions now. It’s been very helpful.

She loves to go outside - even with as cold as it’s been lately. She’s always liked going out for a few minutes and just being outside. It’s often been a method of calming her down during a massive fit. I’m a bit more reluctant to take her out now that it’s so cold but she’s still happy as can be getting bundled up and taken out for a few minutes.

She had her first Thanksgiving which was completely uneventful for her since it was just another day of the same old food she has every other day of her life. But she did get to spend it making a little friend. The friends we spent the day with have a five-year old who was very helpful with her and played with her, read her stories and heaped on the attention.

I had my first traumatic experience with dropping her off at day care this month, too. I know it was all just coincidence, she was tired, she was grouchy and I just happened to be leaving at the same time she realized it. But seeing the huge tears in her eyes and hearing the little whimpering cry come out as I start to walk away is devastating. I don’t know what I’ll do when she really does cry because I’m leaving.

We finally started the process of solid foods. She started out so well with eating the cereal. And then, after a couple of times, she lost complete interest in eating off a spoon for me. Although, she eats it just fine at day care. Imagine that. She sleeps for them, she eats for them, she rarely cries for them. Ga! That could give a mother a complex! It will be a process, I know that. A messy one. But it’s been fun. She likes getting strapped in to her high chair and if you can get her to eat, she does like it. We look forward to all the foods we’ll get to feed her and the faces she’ll make. We’re going to attempt making our own baby food for her so we’ll see how that goes.

Random things I have learned during the sixth month:

-This mother stuff does get slightly more comfortable over time. (Woah! Don’t get all excited, I never said I was comfortable, I just said it’s getting a little better.)
-When day care tells you your baby steals the other babies’ toys, you wonder what in the world you did to make your 5-month old such a bully already.
-Babies reaching for food and drinks when they don’t have the slightest clue what it is is really kinda cute. (‘Til they actually grab it and fling it all over you.)
-There is no chance in hell you can resist a grinning baby with her arms raised to you.
-Watching the excitement in her eyes and the gigantic grin on her face when she sees her daddy is so moving Every. Single. Time.
-No matter how often you see your baby, there are still some pictures that will move you to tears.

Posted by Kim at 1:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Five months and one day ago I was under the assumption that you have a baby, that baby is the coolest new thing for a while and then the newness wears off and it’s just a baby that you raise and is part of your life and blah blah blah. What planet am I from? I’m just as excited and in awe of this child as I was the second she was born. The newness hasn’t worn off - I still wanna smother her in love and eat her right up because she is so stinking cute! The emotions and the excitement and the whole experience haven’t weakened at all and I’m not really sure why that surprises me. Especially with my obsessive personality.

So many things to tell this month. She is doing so much and trying to do even more. And there is no stopping her. Which YIKES! This child is going to be mobile soon. Crap. And? I was talking with a friend about high chairs (way back when we were registering for baby things) because I hadn’t originally registered for one. Because I had PLENTY of time to worry about a high chair. That was so far off I didn’t even need to think of it. You’d think having the baby show up a month early and laughing in the face of my “I have plenty of time, I don’t need to worry” craziness, I would have learned something. No. Of course not. Because now we already need a high chair and I haven’t even thought about one! Moral of this story? Time goes too damn fast.

This past month she started being very responsive and adventurous. She started playing with toys (as much as something with no coordination, no real ability to grasp and no idea what in the world is going on can “play” with anything). She has a toy giraffe she loves to shove in her mouth. She also loves when someone is nice enough to squeak it for her. She has a little dog that is almost as big as she is that she also loves to put in her mouth (see a theme hear? Yeah – I’ll get to that). She tries so hard to hold on to it and she’ll hug it up against her and shove its nose in her mouth and try to get it as far in as she can.

She is to the point of putting everything in her mouth. I didn’t know that time came so soon but you cannot have anything near that child without her attempting to put it in her mouth already. Toys. Fingers. Remotes. Keyboards. Clothes. Tables. Scully. If she can touch it, she wants it in her mouth. It started with her fists, she’d try to fit her whole hand into her mouth and then both at once. Now she sucks on her fingers and she’s definitely found her thumb. However, she’s learned how to stop sucking on her pacifier. Her game is to spit it out at you but she’s also learned how to take it out with her hands. She tries to put it back in occasionally but always gets it backwards. So then it’s back to the fingers (or anything else she can reach).

She has started grabbing for things. She hasn’t mastered grasping yet so things mostly end up on the floor. And speaking of being on the floor – she has figured out the rolling thing. She doesn’t do it very often but she can go both ways now. Of course, she likes it better when you do it for her - back and forth and really fast - but she is completely capable of doing it for herself.

She hasn’t done it as often the past week or two but before then she found this new “thing.” This new thing she can do with her voice that makes everyone within 50 feet run for earplugs. She learned how to make this ear-piercing screech that was so loud and so high-pitched that I think I would rather listen to fingernails on a chalkboard. But it was so cute that we’d keep making her do it. It was as if it had developed as her laugh. She would do it like crazy when she was happy. I picked her up from day care one day and they’d said she started screeching and then got all of the other babies doing it too and they couldn’t get her to stop. I guess she thinks she’s pretty funny. It was the funniest, cutest noise. Until she learned she could make an angry version of it. Not so cute after that.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a really bad day and went into meltdown-mom mode. She wouldn’t sleep for me at all and it seemed it was just me. She doesn’t have a problem sleeping at day care. She hasn’t had a problem sleeping for babysitters. It’s just me. So I spent most of the day in tears because she wouldn’t sleep and she wouldn’t let me put her down. So what did I do? I went shopping. I came home with the Baby Einstein Activity Center and a Bumbo seat. She was very skeptical at first. What baby-who-must-be-held-all-the-time wouldn’t be? She has started getting used to the exersaucer and can even stand it for 15-20 minutes at a time. The Bumbo seat is one we’re still working on but it has sure saved my life! It makes it so much easier to have somewhere to put her for 5 seconds here and 15 seconds there. It is a fairly small seat but it makes her look so tiny. When she’s sitting in it on the floor, you stand above her looking down thinking, “Good Lord! She’s tiny! How could she possibly be so tiny??” It is growing on her though, she can lean over and chew (gum?) on the sides of it. I’m sure it’ll soon be her new best friend. And it puts her closer to the dogs which she loves (I’m sure they won’t soon enough).

And speaking of how tiny she is… She’s five months old and probably just over 13 pounds. She really is still very tiny (even though I swear every night she weighs a ton). But she’s been the only baby we’ve been around since we’ve had her. Last weekend we went to some friends’ house for the day and they’d just had a baby boy about a week earlier. Now HE was TINY. I walked in and saw him curled-up on his mommy and I thought, “Wow! She was never that tiny!” But she was! He was a bit over 8 pounds and she was born at just under 7 so she was but that was sooo tiny and she was never that tiny!! Really. It’s amazing how quickly you forget! He was so still and so small and so quiet and so sleepy. And then there was mine… just five months after that – a bundle of HYPER.

She is so interactive now that it’s impossible to not want to pay attention to her. She’s already trying to sit up by herself and of course I want to encourage her but of course I want to tell her to knock it off, she’s just a baby!! Yes, she’s growing up too fast and while I look forward to every new milestone and every new trick, it’s also a little heartbreaking.

Random things I’ve learned during the fifth month:

-Hair pulling hurts. Especially by itty-bitty baby fingers. Especially when she wants her fingers back and they’re stuck.
-A splashing baby in a bathtub is so very adorable.
-A screaming, flailing baby in a bathtub is not.
-Who knew how much you could get done in 5 minutes when you only have 5 minutes here and there to get anything done.
-Who knew a Bumbo seat and exersaucer could save your sanity.
-Nothing in the world is better than a baby giggle.
-Nothing in the world is more peaceful than watching a baby sleep.
-Taking pictures of your baby never gets old.
-Realizing your baby knows exactly who you are and seeing the recognition on her face melts your heart.

Posted by Kim at 1:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I know the “month four” part is a bit late. I was waiting to include her four month check-up with the monthly update. I thought I could type it up as she slept after her appointment. No such luck. She had a very, very rough weekend. So now it’s Monday and she’s technically 4 months and like 2.5 weeks almost 3 and I am just getting around to this now.

Yeah – four month immunizations are not fun. I gave in Friday and called the doctor’s office because she was having such a hard time and the nurse said, “I usually tell all my patients that the 4-month shots are the worst.” Great. Too bad she wasn’t my nurse that day. No one said a word. So a mild fever and lots of sleeping and crying later… she’s back to her normal ways. Though I can’t say the experience was all bad. She actually slept for almost SEVEN hours in a row Thursday night. SEVEN. Let me say that again: SEVEN hours IN A ROW. The baby who barely goes two. While it was wonderful and amazing and great, no I don’t wish her to get nasty shots more often so she’ll sleep.

So four months… Good grief. She’s grown like a weed – cuz that’s what kids do. She weighs 12.9 pounds now and I don’t dare pick up the dogs anymore because they weigh nothing and I am afraid I will break them. And yes, that includes Jordan. Jordan suddenly is so light and small – go figure. She is almost 25 inches long which – okay – she’s two feet tall. That’s not bad, that’s not weird, or strange or odd but I gotta tell yah – the other night I had a dream she started walking like RIGHT NOW and that? That is weird and strange and odd. You picture a little tiny two foot tall, 12 pound itty-bitty thing walking around on her feet. That’s just nasty. It gave me the creeps.

She is constantly getting more and more animated. She’s learning how to use her face and she can make some funny ones. She’s also learning her voice a little more. She was making this very strange throaty “khgeeeee” noise that she just thought was the funniest thing on the planet. She stopped making that noise though and graduated to other – more ear-piercing – noises. (More on that in month five though, I don’t want to get ahead of myself since I’m such a procrastinator.) And along the lines of noises – when she was itty-bitty she would make the cutest, silliest little clucking noise when she would get hungry. I wanted to save that, to get it recorded somehow because it was so funny. But it seems as soon as she learns a new noise, the old ones just aren’t nearly as cool anymore. So I missed the cluck, I missed the alien noises (the one I described above) but, by god, I am getting the squeals!

She’s still flailing about everywhere. Her limbs are always moving and man! Does that girl have a kick! It’s one thing when she kicks the floor or her changing table or her wipes case on her table or her toys but when it’s my face or my gut – ugh – ouch! But it’s hilarious to watch because she gets so very behind every one of them.

Random things I’ve learned during the fourth month:

-Holy cripes! There’s an actual person inside there!
-Babies like to grab lips. Babies like to grab lips with their sharp little fingernails. And pinch. Then pull.
-There’s such a wide variety of baby-smiles and every single one of them is the very cutest EVER.
-Not being able to produce enough milk seriously sucks.
-Trying to do this thousands of miles away from your family also seriously sucks. Not only because you don’t have the support you so desperately need but also because they don’t get to see the faces and hear the noises and see the movements and get kicked in the face and listen to the squeal of delight afterward.
-If you think you want to get something on camera (whether still or video) – DO IT NOW! Because as soon as you realize you want it, they won’t do it anymore.
-Buying diapers still sucks but it’s so wonderful to only be down to jumbo-sized packages once or twice a month as opposed to twice a week!
-What sucks the most – post-partum depression. Yep, that sucks the very most.
-Once they start interacting with you, there’s no going back. They are now the coolest thing in the whole entire universe and they OWN you!
-Always have infant Tylenol in your house. Especially once they have to go through their four-month immunizations, cuz rumor has it, “they’re the worst of the bunch.”
-When your baby doesn’t feel good, your heart doesn’t feel good.

Posted by Kim at 2:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

By no fault of hers, this has been the hardest month so far. She went from quiet, mellow baby who loves everyone to screaming banshee of terror who wants everyone in the world to explode.

She hates being in her car seat and going anywhere. It doesn’t matter how little time she has to spend in it - she simply wants it to vaporize. Car rides with her have become quite the challenge. Too bad it’s illegal to drive with earplugs. I thought babies were supposed to like car rides? Mine’s defective. But, oh, is she cute and funny!

She figured out how to smile about mid-month and when she’s not screaming, she is grinning ear to ear. She loves watching the ceiling fans, especially when they’re not on. Anything really shiny can hold her attention indefinitely. We put her mobile on her changing table and I don’t think anything makes her happier than hanging out watching her little toys spin in circles. She’s working on a laugh but isn’t quite there yet. Though I suspect that when she gets it, it will come out over sheer delight at her little twirling buddies.

She doesn’t sleep. She’s a little better about sleeping a bit at night, but I really mean the child does not sleep. She’ll take tiny little catnaps throughout the day but not very many of them and they never last long. Everything I’ve ever been told is that babies sleep. A lot. Even at this age, I really believe other babies sleep more than she does. She’s awake all day and then wants to stay up all night as well. Doesn't matter where we put her to sleep, she doesn't want to do it. We took her home to Utah a few weeks ago and she ended up with the car seat we have for her there as her bed. How I long for that car seat… she actually slept in it. The last night we were there, we had to wake her up to go to the airport. If we hadn't, I think she may have slept through the night for the first time ever. Even if we put her in that car seat still awake, she would hang out no problem and then doze off every now and again. If only we could do that here. We can’t put her down anymore. Wait. Let me back up. I can’t put her down anymore. She has become a serious momma’s girl since Utah. She got sick while she was there and I was the only person constantly with her, not that I have any clue whatsoever, but I think that might have something to do with it.

She’s grown out of a few outfits already. Her newborn sized clothes are just a bit too short for her now. We’re actually going to have to start putting things away. That and it’s cold already and all of her up to three months clothes are summer clothes. How in the world do you decide which things to keep, which to give away, which to hold on to for other kids of your own (IF you ever have them: Family, do NOT read into that!), which to hold on to for possible nieces? I have no idea. I just know it’s going to be so very sad to not have some of those outfits anymore cuz they’re just so darn cute on her!

She’s getting more and more responsive to the things going on around her. She has a little play mat that she loves to lay on and stare at. She loves to actually be played with and thinks the dumber you act, the cooler you are. (I’ve been trying to convince Dan this is why she’s really attached to me – I’m the only one who will be completely stupid and idiotic with her.) She just gets more and more fun. I look forward to every new day to see what she will come up with next.

Random things I’ve learned during the third month:

-Never go anywhere without at least *two* changes of clothes.
-There really is an end to endless poopy diapers.
-You really don’t get tired of hearing how beautiful she is.
-Taking a baby on an airplane - to a new state - across the country - with a completely different climate - and a completely different altitude - to meet a whole bunch of people - everyday - for lots of days - being the only person who is with her non-stop – leaves you with a baby that will not let you leave her sight. At all. Ever. She won’t even go to sleep because she thinks you might, just might, leave the room for a split second.
-The first baby smile melts your heart.
-So does absolutely every single smile after that.
-Not even at 4:00 in the morning are baby coos and happy noises anything but adorable.
-One challenge gets resolved just to bring on a new set of them.
-New challenges will never, ever cease to exist. And each challenge will seem more difficult than the previous.
-Babies are mini-celebrities. Everyone wants to know all about them and then tell you how great they are.
-Nothing is more important than loving, supportive family.

Posted by Kim at 12:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

What a way to mark the day she is two months old – dumping her at day care for the first time ever. (I didn’t call.) She survived, even had a good day while there. She even slept in the pak-n-play they have for her. Twerp. Sounds like maybe I’ll need to invest in one of those if it’s not a fluke.

She still isn’t sleeping very well at night, but it’s been much better lately. She used to wake up at 9:30 or 10 and then be up until 2 or 3 in the morning. She’s getting a little better of a routine down now but I am sure that will revert back to nights spent in hell as soon as we try to move her to her own room. Lately she’s been waking up an hour before the alarm goes off and that’s not much fun either. But I would certainly take that over being up all night.

She has grown so much in the last month. After posting the 8 week picture, my sister said, “That’s not even the same baby I just saw.” She was only here a few weeks ago and it’s true, she already looks completely different. I knew they grew fast and that time flies, but come on! She’s barely two months old and I already want her to stop growing. I’m in for it, aren’t I??

She has discovered playing with spit bubbles. That’s her new thing lately. And she is the biggest wiggle worm - arms and legs always flailing about. She’ll hold on to a rattle but really only beats herself in the head with it.

Random things I’ve learned during the second month:

-Never go anywhere without too many diapers.
-Don’t ever think a baby can’t melt your heart at least once a day.
-And make you want to pull all your hair out thirty seconds later.
-Just because you’ve heard how beautiful she is from every last stranger on the planet doesn’t mean you’ll
ever get sick of hearing it.
-Even though sometimes on bad days you just want to scream, “Hey, I haven’t heard THAT before!”
-Shopping for me is BORING. (Which is wrong on so many levels)
-Shopping for baby stuff? Now that’s fun!
-Things really do get better.

And, of course, I am completely biased, but seriously – have you ever seen a cuter baby?

(Shut up. You have NOT.)

Posted by Kim at 1:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It’s hard to believe four weeks have gone by since I gave birth to this little monkey. (Maybe that’s because I’ve had less than a week’s worth of sleep in those four…) I never could have imagined I’d love this so much. She is so much fun and I just want to spend every minute with her. Which are a few of the many things mothers will tell you before you have your baby - the things to which you respond with, “yeah, yeah, I’m sure.” But you’re not. You can’t be.

Then there are the things that no one tells you. The things that make you panic just as soon as the pediatrician’s office closes or everyone you know you could ask has gone to bed.

Some of the things I have learned in the first month:
- You don’t need 8 hours of sleep a night but it’s certainly recommended if you don’t want life to be a blur.
- I am never going to be able to leave the house in a hurry again.
- I am never going to be on time to anything ever again.
- Baby toes and baby fingers are the cutest things in all the world.
- Right behind little baby noises.
- Oh and baby lips.
- No matter how many diapers you have, you will never have enough diapers.
- Or wipes.

And the most important thing I’ve learned in the first month of being a mom:
- Even at 4 AM when all you wanna do is stop crying (yes, both of you) and go to sleep already (yes, both of you), just having that baby look at you with big, blue eyes makes it all better.

I’ll stay up just a little while longer to cuddle just a little more, to play with her little hands and toes, to look at her tiny nose and chubby cheeks, and just watch her breathe.

And who in the world could ever have imagined I’d go sentimental and sappy as a mother???? Run for your lives. Really. Cuz I think it might stick…. Because, really, isn’t she just so damn cute???

Posted by Kim at 12:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)