(No, not those holidays.)
After reading this post, my mother-in-law took pity on me and brought the dogs' Halloween costumes with her this weekend. (She also brought the dogs. Not just the costumes. That'd be kinda silly.) Just so I could take pictures. How thoughtful was that? She also brought sweaters and coats for them. They're not spoiled, little divas at all. Nope, not one bit.
This post should probably be multiple posts but why drag out the pain? Nope, I’m going to get it all over with in one. So bear with me, or you know, move on til next time.
I had mentioned forcing my child to like dogs. I didn’t have to force her. The kid is obsessed. She sees one, she hears one, she wants to see one, it’s all “dog! Dog! Dog!” and she doesn’t quit. Her face lights up and her eyes beam and she runs around with the biggest grin you can imagine.
The neighbors have a dog that they let in their backyard every once in a while. Madeleine's "toy corner" is right next to the window that allows her to see the neighbor's backyard. When the dog is out there, boy, she let's you know. She runs around the living room, so excited, yelling "dog!" And then she gets so sad when he goes inside. I picked her up from day care a while ago and one of the mom's had brought her dogs with her to pick up her child. The day care ladies said Madeleine stood at the glass door for over ten minutes, pointing and yelling, "dog," making sure everyone knew. And she does that - she doesn't forget and she stays so excited for ages after the dog is gone.
So yeah I feel unbearably guilty EVERY STINKING TIME she does this since she has dogs, two of them, and they’re just not here. And then when she gets so upset that the dogs have to go away, I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out.
So there’s that guilt.
And then Halloween. Man. This is the time of year that normally, I would be posting tortured dog photos. Little Chihuahuas dressed in silly, little Halloween costumes, forced to hold still long enough to snap a picture. I can’t bear to walk past the dog section in Target right now. I did it the other week and burst in to tears because the Halloween stuff was just so stinking cute and I have no dogs I can torture with it. And then it’s happened every time since. They need to not put the dog stuff on the way to the check-out counter. How rude. It’s the Halloween stuff that has been killing me lately. Sure, I always miss my dogs but there are times it’s just a bit worse.
They’re very well taken care of, if not spoiled. I know that. And to be perfectly honest, I will probably have a harder time taking them away from the person they’re with than I had letting them go. And I know that as soon as I get them back, they’ll drive me bat-shit crazy with the yapping and the begging and the wanting attention and the baby – dog getting to used to each other, sharing space, oh man that’s gonna suck phase BUT! I miss the little critters like crazy.
Especially now when I so want to put stupid little panda costumes or witch hats on them.
I hate that phrase. However, in this case it’s very true.
Remember how I wanted someone to borrow my dogs for a while? Well… I’ve slowly been getting better with them. My patience is starting to come back a little and on occasion, I enjoy them again. But now we’re going to try to sell this house. Sure, it’s impossible to keep the house spotless with them and their shedding and their 8 million toys. Beyond that, having animals in the house when people come to look (see how I used “when” there and not “if” – I’m being optimistic, all right?!), is apparently one of the house-selling seven deadly sins. We don’t have anyone to come in and get them if someone wants to walk through during the day and that we work an hour a way makes it impossible for us to just come grab them. Sooo…
We’ll be taking the dogs home with us at Christmas so they can spend some good, quality time with their extended family. (Yes, I’m already in a panic. A ton of luggage, a baby, two dogs. Airport security is going to be fun.)
I am a little relieved that they will be going. They will hopefully be able to get a little more attention. I won’t have to go traipsing through the neighborhood in the middle of the night, in the freezing cold looking for the damn little dog. I won’t have to listen to them cry and whine at each other because one won’t share the food. I won’t have to pick up their toys or their messes a thousand times a day. I won’t have to get pissed off because I feel like I am the only one taking care of them. I won’t have to worry about them insisting to go outside the second I start feeding the baby. I won’t have to listen to them bark up a frenzy every time they THINK they hear someone within a mile of their house.
And yet – thinking of leaving them somewhere else, even months before I have to leave them, makes me so very sad. There is no doubt I will cry my eyes out the day we leave them there. And I know the house will feel so empty and lonely without them. And of course I feel guilty as hell. If I were doing it just because they drove me nuts, well, I wouldn’t do it. I just have to remind myself that this is what I have to do if I want this blasted house to ever sell.
But the hardest part about all of it – The part that is an ice pick in the chest –
The baby is starting to take interest in them. She loves Scully. She hugs her and pinches her and pulls her ears and her tail and tries to eat her. She is fascinated with the dog – an interesting turn from before. Instead of Scully fascinated with her and following her everywhere (which she still does because she knows that’s where the attention is), the baby wants to follow her everywhere. She will maneuver herself into the oddest of shapes and positions just to be able to see the dog and try to get close enough to grab her. Of course, it’s freaks the dog right the hell out. But it’s so cute. So that’s what makes me feel the worst. I’m taking the baby’s friend away. I just hope that when bringing them back, the readjustment goes smoothly. She’ll be mobile by then I’m sure and that’ll be all sorts of new levels of fun……
Updated to add: But I certainly won't miss the times that the baby finally, barely gets to sleep and the doorbell rings and the dogs go damned nuts and she wakes up pissy as can be and will. not. go. back. to. sleep. Grrrrr.
She got pissed off at me because I made her get off the pillow that I had dropped on the floor. Somehow climbing in her toybox and falling asleep is supposed to make me feel guilty. Yeah, right - it makes me laugh and take pictures.
They still drive me up the wall - now moreso than ever - but that doesn't mean I don't think they're the cutest little ratmonkeys in the land. 'Cuz they are. No matter how much I want to ship 'em off to doggy boarding school.
I love my dogs. Anyone who knows me would never doubt that. I swore I would never Lady and the Tramp my dogs. However, ever since this baby came along, they drive me nuts. I have no patience for them whatsoever. They don’t even do anything out of the ordinary or that they haven’t done all their lives. It’s me.
We were a little worried about bringing home a baby to them. Jordan can be a little nippy (but that’s not much of an issue until the baby is mobile) and Scully is an attention hog.
Jordan hasn’t changed a bit. She couldn’t care less - she still hates everyone and doesn’t want anything to do with anyone. She stays in her little bed and looks down on the world. And yet, every once in a while now, she comes out and tries to play. It’s still very rare but it actually happens. Of course it happens while I am feeding the baby and can’t do anything but look at her and remind her how bad her timing is.
Scully was the one we were worried about. She was the center of attention, the needy one; she’s the one who we though might backlash because something is stealing her attention. That dog won’t let that baby out of her site. It’s pretty pathetic really. If the baby goes upstairs, the dog goes upstairs. If the baby goes to a different room, the dog goes to the room. If the baby is on the floor, “woah! wow! hey! I can get close!” She is fascinated with her. It’s really kind of funny - in small doses. Mostly it drives me up the damn wall. I guess, y’know, if she were a Rottweiler or Doberman or something, you could say she was protecting the baby and watching out for her. She’s a freaking Chihuahua. What’s she gonna do – yap someone to death? But she is protective of the baby. She has barked up a storm when people she doesn’t know get too close. (Yes, that was actually pretty darn cute – for about 4 seconds..) Apparently our fears of her freaking out over not getting enough attention were silly. Even though you can see in her eyes she really wants you to just cuddle her and play with her like before. That makes me sad.
So where’s the problem? They bark constantly. Sure, it’s a sound the baby heard (all the time) while in the womb so it doesn’t scare the crap out of her every time - but still! It’s very annoying when everything is already high stress anyway. And she can’t always ignore the sound - like when they start barking right as she is drifting off to sleep. Yeah, that makes me really happy. With all three of them screaming, it’s a wonder I have hair left. When you can’t make them shut-up to save your life, it’s really aggravating.
They always insist on going outside the second the baby starts to eat. And when they do get outside, they dawdle and take their time doing absolutely nothing. And whether they do anything out there or not, they come in the house and immediately do it again (well, okay, I shouldn’t say “they” with that one, that’s just Scully). They don’t listen whatsoever while they’re outside and I end up having to chase them all over the yard and in Scully’s case, all over the blasted neighborhood. They don’t really listen when they’re inside either.
They are constantly under my feet now it seems. I don’t know if it’s any different from how things were before, but since I’m packing a baby around all the time now it’s harder to see them so they just about get stepped on way too often. Which is incredibly frustrating because I don’t want to hurt them by stepping on them or kicking them and I sure don’t want to trip over them and launch a baby.
In a nutshell, they just drive me bonkers because they want attention and I can’t give it to them. So I feel bad and get impatient and frustrated and then really, really grumpy. So like I said, it’s not them, it’s me. Poor, neglected little monkeys.
*No, you can’t have my dogs. I would never, ever, ever give my dogs away. Not in a million years and not to the best home imaginable. I may, however, be willing to loan them out for a spell… Hehehe.
I stayed home from work yesterday and stayed in bed most of the day. I'd sleep for 15 minutes and then wake up. Which is what I had done all night long the night before so I was pretty wiped out all day. A number of times when I would wake up, this is what I would see:
Need I say more?
'Cuz I'm going to... A few minutes after this - they actually fell asleep this close together. They were touching and they both survived. Hard to believe - I know.