Lost in Place

20 years ago...
1. In love with all things dark and dramatic
2. Sneaking out with my friends all over town at all hours of the night (Madeleine, when you're old enough to read this, that was a lie. I NEVER did such things)
3. Spent the summer getting continuously grounded

10 years ago...
1. Working as a call center rep and absolutely hating every minute of it
2. Still trying the school thing
3. Wondering where decisions I was making were going to lead me

5 years ago...
1. Buying our first "nice" car
2. Buying our first house
3. Living just a few blocks from my sister (that was awesome!)

3 years ago...
1. Getting pregnant
2. Being afraid of having a baby so far away from any support system
3. Making an amazing friend who became my support system

1 year ago...
1. Content in my job
2. Waiting for my house to sell
3. Getting antsy to move back to Utah because of a new niece

So far this year...
1. Changed jobs
2. Am still waiting for my house to sell
3. Had no idea how much I loved my life as it was 'til it got infinitely worse

Yesterday...
1. I spent 5 hours commuting
2. Whined about my house not selling
3. Got a total kick out of my two-year old falling asleep hugging my phone

Today...
1. Have eaten way too much
2. Spent way too much time in stopped traffic this morning. And I haven't even gone the other direction yet.
3. Whined about my house not selling

Tommorrow...
1. Back to spending way too much time in traffic
2. Another day of work
3. Will whine about my house not selling

Next year...
1. My house better have sold!
2. Will hopefully be in a different location
3. Will be a more kind, complete, patient, good, loving, caring, nurturing, wonderful person because #1 and #2 will have happened.

Posted by Kim at 1:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We were very productive and had all sorts of fun over the long weekend last weekend. It's amazing all the things you can do in a couple of days when you actually get a full couple of days to do them. It got me seriously itching for more. Which is bad. Very, very bad. But I still thought I would share some of the fun stuff we did over the weekend.

First, I love me some shrinky dinks. I have always loved this stuff. And I never get to use it. But since I am one of those nutjobs who HATES writing on things because it too often looks tacky, I was able to use it to claim Miss M's backpack as hers. I had high hopes for what I had wanted it to do. But alas, I was too big a cheapskate to buy the right colors of ink pads for one small project. So it didn't turn out exactly as planned. Still cute though.

Next, I finally got around to painting the other box I bought. The last one turned out so cute I just wanted to do another. I decided this one would be for her hair things. I had the perfect little flowery idea in my head. I found some transfers at Michaels that were *SO* cute in the package. Not so cute on the box. I finished it, took one look at it and HATED it. Immediately. And immensely. But it will serve it's purpose for now. It will be on the bathroom counter where I am sure it will get soaked a many number of times and will need to be replaced down the road anyway.

Then, I had a card swap due this week so I spent some time working on that. Coming up with cards for "simple & masculine" as the theme was not an easy task. The only cards I've ever made for men were Father's Day cards for my dad or birthday cards for my brothers in which case a tree, a fish, some random deer-ish animal would suffice. Other than that, it's all Hallmark for me. In truth, I'm glad I did it since I will get a variety of cards back of the same theme and I should be set for a while. (And yes, it was just an excuse to use more shrinky dinks!)

After that, cookies were made. It's been a long time since I've made cookies. A long time since I've cooked anything actually since I don't get home until bedtime. I forget how much I enjoy it. I'm not much of a "cook" but (I think) I can bake pretty well. If I have a recipe, of course, so that's certainly not saying I am some great baker. I wish! The cookies turned out a little cakier than I would have liked and were very, very sweet. It was a new recipe, not one I am sure I would use again. Either way, a homemade chocolate chip cookie is yummmmmy. So I've eaten way more than my fair share. Luckily I was able to pawn some off on friends, too.

It really was a nice weekend. It seems the more time I have to do things I *want* to do, the more time I want to be able to do them. And I've gotta tell yah, I love spending time being crafty and creative and productive. I just so rarely get the chance to do it anymore. This weekend was a very welcomed escape into that for me.

Posted by Kim at 3:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

We all have to learn to find our strengths and weaknesses. To learn self-criticism but to sense when it's becoming self-destruction. We all have to have faith in ourselves but need to know when to stand firm without bending and when to become fluid, elastic, and agile.

My husband sent this quote to me today. He had no idea how much I needed to read something like that. No, his motivation was entirely different - Out of the billions of people in the world, which single one was insightful enough and wise enough to say it? We love these random, insane guessing games. Well, *he* does. I like hints. He thinks I should be able to read his mind or something.

I did finally get it (with little actual help from him). Turns out I have yet one more reason to love Danny Elfman. The quote was taken from a speech he gave to a graduating class last year, which after reading, I realized the quote above is maybe not the best part about it. Go check it out for yourself. I don't know anyone who doesn't need a little encouragement or uplifting from time to time.

Posted by Kim at 2:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Bethany posted this meme on Monday. It was a little different from others out there and I am sitting here, stuck at this computer, with nothing to do. So I figured I would "borrow" it from her and answer it myself. Turns out it was a pretty good idea because it's sucked a couple hours of my time already. Woo! And now I can post it and go find lunch!

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

- You have no idea how much you changed my life. Thank you for the faith you had in me. I wish I wouldn't have resisted so much - no telling what I could have done.
- Seriously?!?
- No one is as important as you *think* you are.
- 'the hell did I do to you??
- I never know what's going on in your head. I wish I did. Sometimes it makes me worry about/for you.
- I think you might be the only reason I'm even remotely as sane as I am.
- I know it's not easy, and certainly not ideal, but I have so much respect for what you are doing.
- I forgive you. Completely.
- Thank you.
- I am so deeply, sincerely sorry. (I probably just should have put this one in each of the 10 spots since I'm sure there are at least that many people to whom I should say that.)

Nine Things About Myself:

- I will tell you anything you want to know. I am a very open person. But I am a very private person so I will not put it out there for you. You have to ask for it. But, of course, once you get me going, I don't shut up.
- I'm terrified of failing or looking stupid so I'd just rather not try. (I SO need to get over that.)
- You'd never know it unless you really know me but I love being the center of attention.
- I'm not nearly as ditzy as I try to appear to be. Yet, I'm nowhere near as smart as people think I am.
- I have always wanted to learn to play the violin.
- I wish I could cook. Really cook. The kind that doesn't require recipes.
- Having a child has made me take a second look at some of my fears. I don't want her having them just because I do. (i.e., I try to not scream at the sight of a spider now. Though house centipedes? Yeah, I still run screaming.)
- I don't want to be an Assistant anymore.
- I am really quite quirky.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

- Teach me something.
- Make me laugh.
- Be honest and sincere.
- Don't act like you're so much better than anyone for whatever reason. I don't care if you are, you don't need to act like it.
- Be kind just to be kind. Not necessarily to me (though that's certainly not going to hurt), but to anyone, everyone.
- Write to me.
- Talk to me just to talk, no agenda required.
- Like the X-Files!

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:

- I hate this commute!
- I miss them!
- Crap. How is *that* going to work?
- It's freezing.
- I'm hungry.
- Well now what?
- Where the hell is my phone?

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

- Clean up everything I can.
- Check on Madeleine.
- Tell the husband who stays up WAY too late goodnight.
- Check the bed for bugs.
- Brush my teeth
- Check the alarm at least 3 times.

Five People Who Mean A Lot:

- Dan
- Madeleine
- Monica
- Mom
- Dad

(Sorry! Don't feel robbed! I only had 5 spots. That doesn't mean there aren't a BUNCH of other people who belong on that list!)

Four Things You're Wearing Right Now:

- flip flops
- black skirt
- black and white top
- watch

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):

- "Poor, Unfortunate Souls" (because Madeleine LOVES to sing along)
- "Falling Slowly"
- "Be Our Guest" (see #1)

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:

- Live for a hundred years
- Go to Paris

One Confession:

- Growing up, I swore I wouldn't be the Absent-Aunt. That I would be there so my nieces and nephews knew me, could spend time with me and I could be a big part of their lives and watch them grow. Nothing in this world breaks my heart more than knowing I am missing out on all of that, that I *am* the Absent-Aunt.

Posted by Kim at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

A friend of mine sent me a list of questions for blog fodder. An extended meme kind of thing. I immediately thought I’d eat them right up and answer them all at once. Then I thought, “Woah. That’s a lot of questions.” And realized that I could pace myself, answer a few here and there and have blog posts to last for ages. Yippie. …Unless I get a little nuts and whip through them like a madwoman.

If you were a geometric shape what would you like to be?
But I’m already a square! I kid, I kid. But really, it would be a square. Something about all the sides being equal and there being very specific corners. I don’t know, I just like squares.

If you were a bird or an animal what would you like to be?
For a bird, I would be a bird of paradise. Exotic, bright, kinda freaky but so colorful and elaborate and vibrant and beautiful.

For an animal, I’d be a lion. Come on, I’m a Leo, that’s a given.

Can you make friends easily?
Not exactly. It took me a good two years to make an actual friend out here. I’m quiet, I’m shy, I feel small-talk is a waste of everyone’s time so I suck at it and I am afraid of people in general. (They’re mean.) But when I do make a friend, it’s a friend for life.

*I’m not an ogre. I am very friendly and have numerous acquaintances in all walks of life. For me, to consider one a “friend” is a big thing, an evolution of a relationship that doesn’t take place over one glass of wine. This doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there whom I adore and respect and think totally rock. I just haven’t had enough time with those people yet. I love to make friends, I love the process of getting to know another person. It just takes a while.

Posted by Kim at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Having checked the weather before I packed, seeing it was supposed to be in the low 70's, I packed warm-ish clothes. I packed only warmish clothes, But it's not low 70's. It's not mid 70's. It's 8trillion degrees instead. So all the warmish clothes? Hell. We're going to have to do way more shopping than I had wanted to do - especially on clothes.

I dropped Dan's brand new, very expensive camera. Twice.

I managed to lose the only sippy cup I brought.

The day isn't even half over.

Please let it get better...

**Updated to add: It so totally didn't. I ended up leaving the restaurant from dinner, before even being able to finish my dinner, almost in tears because my child is a demon. Who, of course, as soon as I got her back to the room, was so full of giggles she couldn't breathe. Maybe tomorrow? Please? Tomorrow will be better?

Posted by Kim at 12:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)